Friday, April 4, 2008

Poker Bus from Hell

I just returned from another visit to the Winstar casino. I was hoping to go to Vegas this month to celebrate Sturge's birthday, but I ran into a financial strain, care of our federal government. I had to settle for a bus ride to Oklahoma to satisfy my poker room itch. It costs $12 and I also received $10 in casion action. I was scheduled to meet my friend from high school in the casino entrance at 1:00 PM.

I arrived at the bus stop at 8:30 AM in North Austin. As I arrived, I noticed a couple already queued behind a painted line by some benches so I headed over to join them. No body else joined us and the bus pulled up about 8 minutes later. I was thinking it would be a relatively empty bus as nobody else was at our stop. However, the bus driver told us there were only 5 seats left. The couple had to sit apart and I couldn't decided which of the empty seats to choose from as they were all located next to one kind of reprobate or another. I can't remember having seen such a slatternly lot.

I ended up sitting next to woman wearing sunglasses who appeared to be in her mid 60's. She was on the aisle, so I had to climb past her to get my window seat. As I made my way past her, I detected an odor that hinted strongly of a state fair port-o-potty. Just as I sat down, two more guys ran up to the bus and grabbed the last two seats.

The bus lurched forward and merged with traffic on the frontage road as we made our way North. The bus driver announced over the intercom that they would be heading straight to the casino since all the seats were full. The woman next to me asked what was going on. I tried to tell her what the bus driver said, but she couldn't understand me. She was very hard of hearing so I wrote it out for her on her fast food bag she had in her lap.

Smelly and deaf.

I fell asleep for a couple of hours only to be awoke to the sound of my bus riding neighbor's unflattering toilet event. Her roiling bowels were gurgling up rancid byproducts and I doubt she could hear herself. We were still over two hours from the casino and I was trapped. I pulled my shirt up over my nose and watched the traffic. She finally go up to go to the bathroom in the back of the bus. I glanced down at the seat to check for stains, but there were none. She must have been wearing an adult diaper. She returned after 15 minutes and didn't smell as bad.

We arrived at the casino on time and Robert was there waiting on me. We played 1-2 NL Hold'em for a few hours, but the players were all tight, so we moved to a $2-5 NL table and both made a couple of hundred bucks, which I frittered away on black jack. I had an OK time, but not like I would have in Vegas.

I did get to meet Joe Piscopo. He posed for a picture with Robert. He was a nice guy who hasn't let stardom go to his head.

The bus trip back was uneventful It was also half empty, so I got to sit by myself.